Friday, August 8, 2008

DUST

Let me start by thanking Doleful Doledrums for inspiring me to write again. I started this blog long back but then as the lazy bum I am... I didn't care much about it. I scribbled few things here before but then I deleted them all to start of fresh. So humble thanks to ADs for making my lazy butt jiggle with energy to write in this space, hogged by me for like almost a year. And and and I also congratulate myself for starting again.

Anyways I like dust. Not like I am sexually attracted to it or anything but I guess the fact that I am lazy contributes to the fact that I LIKE DUST. So everything was planned out today for doing nothing. I started off with having the precious overcharged Sakina Dairy Tea (charges 5 bucks for few drops) and a cigarette which is my daily requirement for ultimate pleasure and pressure. Came back home, did the morning ritual and sat on the computer doing nothing. I had planned to wash my clothes today in the evening after a month but my washing machine wanted a wash itself. So it was raining heavily and the weather got very romantic and when it gets romantic I prefer to take a nap.

I didn't clean my house for few weeks now. I can see web on the ceiling and hair on my white tiles. If you are buying a new house never opt for white tiles cuz you will always feel your house is dirty as even a minute microscopic black bacteria will get noticed. Same goes with black color tiles but then according to my experience dust and bacteria are mostly black.

So I am a lazy man and I love it. May be that is exactly why dust have a liking towards me. Ok watching American Pie and writing this blog is not easy especially when you are explaining the movie to your friend. But I love to multitask.

So I like dust because I am lazy and hate to clean my room. So what are my excuses?

I have dust allergies so its better they stay where they are. If I try to clean they will be all scattered

Dust is my pet.

Poor dust are hated by everybody and cleaned out by every house. I can't be this inhuman towards those tiny little things. where would they go.. where where where!!!

So I was having a little romantic nap and was having sex with something I don't even know, it was a blurred out dream and suddenly something bit me on my thigh. I woke up instantly and checked to see this red ant having a bite of me. He got a finger kick from me but then my eyes goes to this trail of massive army of red ants on my bed planning to eat me up. Thats it, my rage took over me and the whole bed Sheet flew on air (Imagine from the ants perspective.. so much fun) (My Perspective the sheet came and fell back on my head) Anyways removed the bed and kicked on it so that all the ants just get imbalance and fall on the floor. No but no..my bed is infested by ants and spiders. Non one.. or two a whole fleet of little young spiders. I suddenly realised I hate dust. I kicked and kicked the bed until my leg gave up. Then I got the weapon of destruction.. the broom and started cleaning my living room. Well I have a kitchen and a living room. The only thing I clean regularly is my bathroom. So the lazy ass I am only the living room will be cleaned. I swept the whole living room and felt good about it but bad for the dust, though I still love them but blame it on the invasion of the species on my bed.

It was time to wash my clothes. When I first bought the washing machine it took a while for me to understand the complexities of washing the clothes and the fact that it came without a manual didn't help much. In Toronto we used laundramart for washing clothes every 15 days which would cost like 3 bucks (120 rupees).. not bad at all, but they were huge and they use to have this lint tray which I was trying to find out in my present washing machine.. but failed miserably.. I don't think it has one. I had a set of 20 underwears and when I have 5 unwashed underwear left.. that is time to wash my clothes.

Ok as the lazy God I didn't clean my kitchen but the real GOD had some other plans for me. I hitched the pipes to the washing machine and started the taps. I came back to the computer and something happened. The pipe got loose and the whole kitchen was overflowing with water. Ok so I have to clean the kitchen now. Sorry dust buddies I couldn't do anything with this situation..you guys are already wet and half of you are floating in the drain under my basin so.. I guess the left over dust will have to give them company..can't let their friends and relatives miss them. So I cleaned the whole kitchen area and almost dead tired.

I thought of going out and having something to eat and have a smoke. I took the money and my phone.. walked out and banged the door only to realise that gosh I had left my keys inside for the 543345th time. So here I am with no keys to get inside my house with only few bucks in my pocket and its raining outside. So I asked the security for the spare keys which he said he doesn't have. so anyways my building is half constructed so the flats besides my apartment is still under construction. There is this little boy who works there and he knows me well cuz I gave him a brand new carom board which was gifted to me as I don't play it anymore. He said he will try it from my balcony if the glass door is open. The door was open but I said its 2nd floor and I didn't want him to take the risk..what if he falls.. nooo. He said he does it all the time..but he said he needs a magnet so that he can stick it to the plastic pipe used for electric wires and then put it through my window on to my table and get the key out. I said I have a magnet on my phone holder and he can use it. He climbed on to my balcony from the under constructed apartment and got my keys in a minute. I was so glad to see my keys and gave him the extra keys to give it to the security and paid him some money for his gesture. He has this sweet smile always on his face.

So I came back and washed the clothes.. and pretty tired now. I think we all blabber a lot about being independent and living alone in the big city. I had been doing that for 8 long years now. When we are new to this living alone business we think its great and we learn a lot.. about how to take care of ourselves, responsibilities, no one to advice, no one to keep an eye on you, drink smoke and have sex at will, day dream, be lonely, wash clothes, clean house, pay all the bills yourself, make mistake, walk naked in the house, admire our nakedness in front of the mirror, dance naked, and imagine the chick in the office naked. But this independence brings a responsibility of cleaning the house if you cant have a maid. And thats when I don't like to be independent. MOM I MISS YOU sob sob :(

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Hi,

You have a nice blog. I just thought of mentioning about this website www.dustmitesallergies.org. They seem to offer specialized advice of dust mites allergies.